Tuesday, September 10, 2002

the following blurb was sent to me by my wife...
The name of mark gives you a very individual, reserved, serious nature.
You stick stubbornly to your ideas or decisions, in spite of any appeals
or advice; you are not willing to accept a compromise. You prefer to be
alone with your own thoughts, rather than in the company of others. This
name restricts spontaneity in association and the fluency of your verbal
expression. When you are required to express yourself in personal matters
requiring finesse and diplomacy, you feel awkward and embarrassed.
Although you realize perfectly well what is expected of you, you are
unable to find the right words, and hence you end up saying something
inappropriate in a candid way. You can express your deeper thoughts and
feelings best through writing. Your friendships and personal associations
are rather restricted, being limited to those of a similar nature who can
understand and accept your rather straightforward yet reserved manner.
You are steadfast and loyal, and do not allow gossip or anything
belittling to be said against those whom you accept in friendship. You
find satisfaction in being outdoors or in getting out into nature, or in
dealing with the products of the earth. There is originality and depth of
thought contained in this name, particularly along practical and
mathematical lines. This name can adversely affect the health of your
respiratory organs, the heart and lungs. Also, you are prone to suffer
from weaknesses centering in the head.

i find thee types of things fascinating. i am caught somewhere between the realist and the dreamer, when it comes to the idea of predestined behavior as determined by someone's name, stars, or the like. is it just that the factors that make up these classifications are left vague enough for wild interprtation, or that they are recognized as a pattern over eons of human observation. i suppose it come down to faith vs. fact. facts can be distorted to serve the will of the fact finder. faith has a differnet source... i'm not talking about religion here. it seems, however, that there is a definite structure to all things if you are open to find them. i think the trick is to take everything with a grain of salt. truth may be constant, it's interpretation is ever changing. if society were based on the notion that the meaning of your name made up who you are, there would be another whole collection of prejudices to keep us from evolving. less than a hundred years ago women had to author books with male pseudonyms to be taken seriously. in some places your name is belies your ethnic heritage and therefore leaves people open to discrimination. on the other hand, the patterns of life, the universe and evreything cannot just be dismissed as hoakey. the new age movement has done just as much to open peoples eyes to the tenets of different world cultures as it has to blind people to change by catagorizing everthing that doesn't fall into the top five religions as new age... i'm still trying to figure out what i truly believe. it's nothing that anyone should die for, nor is it available in large print from a giant publishing house, nor is it found in reading rocks thrown on a table. i want to believe evrything is possible, but i tend to think along practical and mathematical linesand stick stubbornly to my ideas or decisions. hmmm...maybe i am a mark...

Friday, September 06, 2002

warning...warning...meltdown...danger...identity crisis eminant...i just cut my hair. nothing too radical. i just need to shed this skin. i usually resist change at all costs. then the dam breaks and all the impulses that i've kept in reserve come flooding out. pardon the mixed metaphors. maybe i'm a water snake...whatever. i've been thinking too much...