it's nice to be out in the sun for a change.

today we decided to visit a natural wonder that we rarely see despite the fact that we only live about 20 minutes away from it.

63days4hrs15mins to go.... 

Back to the Future

time is so relative. prove what you must, but i think time moves at different speeds or at least our collective perception of it does. whenever i feel like day is going by quickly, other people tend to share the opinion. it seems that every time i blink, three weeks have passed. anyway, poof, it's three weeks later. i haven't been in the mood to write, either. i failed to write about rylee's stomach flu from hell or chris's mother's funeral. we also solidified all the details for our trip to florida in late may. it's official, we are going to hang out with the mouse. the fla. trip is all i can think about. we all deserve this vacation. life has been so stressful for so long. it will be nice to just sit back in the sun and relax. well, four days of running around the most magical place on earth, and one day of relaxing by the pool. i realized that my long standing hatred for all things disney has robbed my kids of some innocent, fun experiences. i loved it when i was a kid. they don't need to know that mike eisner is the devil, or who mike eisner is in the first place. i'll probably get the same thrill out of hugging pluto as i did when i was eight. hopefully the next two months will fly by so we can get to the good stuff. as sierra put it. "i wish i could time travel to next week (the kids are off from school and i am off work), and then jump forward to the end of may to our vacation." i love that their imaginations involve things like time travel. i think it may have something to do with the fact that we watch too many movies... that reminds me- i need to buy some disney movies to catch the kids up.

si-si's birthday!!!

it's a small world after all

well, it appears that sierra's 9th birthday was a complete success. the party at chuck e. cheese's was not as painful as i had anticipated. in fact, if you consider the cost versus the idea of kids entertaining themselves and a staff of others cleaning up after them, i'd say it was money well spent. i just showed up with the kids and they all had a blast; ninety minutes later their parents came and collected them. i had a great time. actually watching how much fun sierra was having made me very happy. i feel that because of our lifestyle, they don't get much time for fun with other kids. what results is sierra feeling that she has to try to keep up with our adult conversations to fit in and have fun. she does surprisingly well with that at times, but she is just a kid and should be able to have fun doing kid things. i get a bit worried when she asks me questions like " daddy, what's a fetish?" i wish i'd known at the time that she was asking about eve's clothing line that is referenced in her favorite gwen stephani song. you try explaining a fetish in nine year old terms without reteating behind "you don't need to know such things." if you met my daughter you would quickly learn that this type of interaction is very sierra. anyway, kiddy themed restaurants are just what the doctor ordered to counteract some of this growing up too soon. to see the same kid jumping up and down with her friends to the tunes of chuck e.'s animatronic band does my heart good. i'm definitley considering a reprise for rylee's birthday party next month. jason and i are also back in talks about a possible disney vacation this year. the fact that jason brought it up still blows my mind. i'm sure he'd rather a getaway for two in a tropical locale or something, but he's trying to be all inclusive. it's very sweet. actually, when we were watching the dvd that accompanied the vacation planning packet disney sent us, i think he was more jazzed about it than the kids would be if we told them. i figure half way through the plane ride to orlando would be a good time to spring it on the kids. if i tell them now, we would have to endure a "how soon 'til we leave" check every five minutes from now until june. as it is, sierra spotted the planner on the end table the other day and still asked "what's is it?" two more times after i brushed it off as junk mail. i hope we can swing it financially. it would be fun. i was sierra's age when i went. jason thinks it's riot that when i went epcot wasn't even built yet, that busch gardens didn't exist, or that the excitement of going to the kennedy space center was to see the plans for the upcoming space shuttle idea that was in the works. as much as i hate disney, there is a little kid inside me that is psyched about the idea. after all, i still cry when bambi's mother gets shot. besides the kids deserve it for all that they have had to put up with these past couple of years, and so do i.

keep your minivans and blue ribbons to yourself, bitch!

i often feel like i'm neglecting the kids. be it my work schedule, the fact that when i am around i'm tired, or whateverthe kids are getting what they need from me. i think they feel unwanted around here some of the time. i think that's what inspired me to let sierra have a chuck e. cheese party for her ninth birthday this saturday. ugh. being in charge of nine random kids i don't know running amuck isn't my idea of fun, but the kid needs a little something special. i can't say that the prepackagedness of it all didn't strike me as convenient. you supply the food, plates, entertainment,etc.- i'll pay. i like that arrangement. i'm not a soccer mom. i don't mix well with other parents. i find them dull- mostly because i'm immature. i don't do the pta pageant. i hate it. trying desperately hard to pretend that you are the perect parent by running yourself ragged and making your children constantly jump through hoops to show how dedicated you are to their development. i can't knock the whole thing. some of it is just laziness on my part. i imagine myself doing more if i didn't work so much, but then i have to wonder- would i just be sitting on the couch all day squandering the time i set aside for my kids? i would like my kids to be more involved in extracurricular activities like many of their friends ( and relatives); i just don't want to compete with the supermoms. they just piss me off. most overacheivers piss me off. is it jealousy? hell yes. i lack the discipline. sue me. i just don't see the point. maybe that's why i live paycheck to paycheck and hate my life most days... food for thought. thinking isn't really my strong suit at the moment however as i have been up since 5am for day2 of inventory at my store and it is now nearly 1 am. i will never learn. now tomorrow morning i will be rushing around at 7 am, half asleep trying to get lunches and snacks for school squared away instead of doing it tonight and getting to bed at a reasonable hour. dumb ass...