in a matter of few hours i will be back in the bowels of retail hell. the vacation is over. i had my kids the whole week last week. we had a spectacular time. spectacular, spectacular. no words in the vernacular... we went to the zoo one day, and thanks to jc we all decorated ceramic pieces at this great little shop in williamsville that she turned us onto. they fire the pieces and i pick them up on thurs. it was a good time. in between that it was movies and shopping... oh and of course, egg coloring. it was apparently the first time jason ever colored easter eggs. i think he's had quite a few firsts since he's had kids. they love him. alura made him a card and sierra made one for the two of us together. i just wonder how much i'm keeping from them. yesterday and the day before we spent time with jason's family. it was interesting to say the least. he and his sister and i played putt-putt. maybe i'll take the kids next time. that was fun... all day long i kept thinking...i'm really too old for this shit. maybe i am. oh well. now it's back to mikehell's. i so do not want to go back. ah well, it's a process. i'll change it soon enough.

the last two days have been eventful to say the least. it seems like it's feast or famine with the social events calendar. we've sat around here for so long under sheets of ice and layers of cruddy, brown snow, it's about time things began to pick up a bit. wednesday night jason's sis, kristin, came over. i love her. she is so god damn funny. we had a pretty good time and watched a movie that i can't wait to show the kids. thursday was jason's senoir thesis show. or should i say j-son. it was a riot. jessica played the part of his agent, gayle kitchman. heather was his personal assistant. i was his body guard, and some guy from that mtv frat life show was our camera man. i can't wait to see the video. people were really getting into the autograph signing, et all. we paraded around the cfa for a bit before the show in entourage formation. it was a killer. he stole the show in my opinion. i really wanted to go back to school just then. not so much for the fun of it, but from what i saw of most of the installations. a few of them were interesting, but mostly they were crap. there was one at the downtown gallery that i thought was great. this girl took disposable cameras and mailed them with instructions to everyone who had her first inital and last name all over the u.s. to send back pics and bios, etc. she only got a dozen or so responses out of many, but it was really well done. the pictures that came back were fascinating,etc. then last night we went to see jc and allie in a chorus line. it was fun. they are both such starlets i can't stand it. each of their performances were a riot. and the girl that did the tits and ass song was a hoot. then we went out and ended up at the place i swore i would never go to again, that crap hole marcellas. kept running into chris boos and that guy from the middleport drive in/noco all night. then i ran into tammy that used to work in our frameshop at the store. it was all bigs smiles and who gives a fuck all night. at least jason and i had fun. i really enjoy hanging out with shawn now too, despite what jason might think. tonight the kids are coming over and spending the week with me as we are all on vacation! i'm really psyched. i miss them so much. we are going to have a blast. it's been like a week- i swear. i've got to come up with a better way soon. more later...

it's early am. we have to finish donnie darko tomorrow. it is by far the the creepiest movie i've seen in a long long time...

tori was phenominal! we were so close! it was the best concert ever! it was like she was playing my under the pink faves just for me! but that was weeks ago... i haven't felt the need to update this page in a while. i was getting tired of the i'll read your blog, so you'll read mine and see that i've insulted you in it routine. i'm just getting used to the fact that there are quite a few people that don' t like me. i could continue to rack my brains to try and figure out why they don't like me and what i could do to change that, but frankly none of them seem to be worth the time anymore. people can call me callous, insensitive, whatever. i don't care anymore. i have to get my shit together. people that try to judge me and thereby hold me back can go fuck themselves. i'm evolving, and i don't have time for those that don't support me. i've been in a depression for so long, i was starting to believe that everything that was wrong in the world was my fault. no more. that being said, i almost died the other day. well, i had my first real car accident. i spun off the QEW on the way to see margaret cho at the university of toronto. it was horrifying. jason and kristin seemed to take it pretty well, as they have been in these situations before apparently. my car was resting in a ditch facing traffic, i thought my car was broken forever and that we'd never get to TO, and the two of them spent most of the time trying to make me feel better. through jason's resourcefulness via cellphone to AAA canada to canadian tire, we were back on the road in an hour. things just always seem to work that way for him it seems. i might start to believe his positive encouragement at this rate. of course, god or fate or whatever still proved to have it out for me, as we continued on the single most irritating and dangerous road trip i have ever experienced. we were only slightly late, and despite all the trauma in getting there, margaret did not disappoint. she was funny as hell. it's always interesting to see the mix of asian and gay audience at her concerts. she seems to be taking on the mantle of self proclaimed revolution leader. normally i'm leary of celebs using their clout to sway the public opinion, but i'm in. i love everything that come out of her mouth. if she decides to start the cult of cho, sign me up first. i want a membership. rylee just turned five this week. they are all getting so big. i can't stand it. there's all kinds of stuff going on in my life right now, but i don't care to mention it. i'll save it for therapy on tuesday. yeah! more later...