The End of Days

today is the last in my series of four days off. ugh. i dread going back to that shithole tomorrow. this is really no way to live. there is no money or future in retail management, unless you sell your soul and move to where ever the corporation you work for wants to send you. i passed up many an opportunity with michaels because of that. i'm afraid that any day now LNT is going to decide that i have to go work in niagara falls or something. yuck. i enjoy living a block away from work, but that's really all that i enjoy about this job. my boss is a bean counting, by-the-book-unless-it- pertains-to-her, corporate opportunist cunt rag. i absolutely despise her. last week i was written up for going home sick two days in a row. yes, that's right- for being sick. apparently my slew of absences are setting a bad pattern. what fucking ever. i've never been written up for anything in my life. now i have to stay after school and bang erasers because of this pretentious bitch. just because her uterus dried up years ago for lack of use, she doesn't get my situation with the kids. although it seems stupid for me to expect special treatment because i'm a parent, what the hell am i going to do? i'm already pissing away whatever salary jump i made coming to this job by paying insanely high health benefit rates. add to that the impending daycare costs and the student loans that will catch back up with me, and i am beginning to move backwards again. why work 60 hours a week and not have anything to show for it? meanwhile i have to check my kids homework at 5 or 6am and hope they get up to their alarm clock every morning, so that my boyfriend can get them on the bus. why? because retail demands that you are in the building two many hours ahead of opening to jerk off and pretend it was worth getting up that early. if i owned my own business do you think i would get there at 6am for any reason whatsoever? i think not, baby puppy. and this is why i don't talk about my job very often. not only is it unimportant to me- i can't help but bitch about it ad nauseum. hopefully jason and i can enjoy the day. well, at least before i have to take rylee to the eye doctor and spend what little money i have left...